Tamping down the optimism

I really want to run around a do a happy dance and scream about how much I am totally in love with my new job.

But I am not going to do that.

Not because my new job isn't fabulous in every way, I just want to be realistic.

The truth of the matter is, I really, really, really like it. And when I really, really, really like something, I tend to put whatever it is up on a pedestal until something happens and then I get incredibly disappointed and I feel foolish for the pedestal and worship and, of course, all the animal sacrifices. You really can't take that kind of stuff back.

I've always been an optimist. You know the whole 'is the glass half empty of full?' thing? I'm thrilled that there is a glass. And, look! It has water in it! Isn't that great?!?!

So far the new job is going really really well. I have a TON of freedom to run my area how I want. The people I work with are nice. My office is HUGE and it has matching furniture and none of it is plastic. I get my own assistant during the busy season. And I get 3 weeks of paid vacation.

It really is turning out to be everything I thought it would be and more (I had NO IDEA about the 3 weeks of vacation). So I know that if I put the rose colored glasses on - when they come off - I am going to fall really hard.

Is that weird? That I am trying to not be totally smitten? Does that say something about our society or people that I think that too much optimism and joy are bad? Yikes. It reminds me of those people who 'love too much'. You can usually find them on Maury Povich or in a Lifetime movie. Their one great character flaw is loving someone so much that they get taken advantage of repeatedly.

Well, not this time, Buster! I will not think that this is the perfect job even though I get to see elephants every day until June 5th! (It might be important to mention that I work on fair grounds). I'm not going to get sucked in with the Christmas party where apparently, they give you goody bags full of toys for your kids. And bonuses? They aren't going to phase me. I also scoff at the health insurance plan. Scoff. Scoff. Scoff.

Oh, who am I kidding? DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE ELEPHANTS???? AND THE DENTAL PLAN? OMG!

When you gotta go, you gotta go

Heard as he was running to the bathroom:

"We've got to hurry because my penis is about to pop!"

Hawaii 2.0

It is Mother's Day and I am sitting in the Honolulu Airport. I can't complain too much because I actually got to spend the day enjoying Oahu instead of spending the whole day inside the Hawaii Convention Center.

I woke up early and hit the beach then I trekked all over the island looking for a place that would serve me breakfast without a reservation or an hour wait. Apparently, Hawaiians take Mother's Day VERY seriously. After shopping, I went over to a hotel on the beach with a dolphin lagoon and ate some lunch/dinner before heading to the airport.

It was a nice day but I am ready to be home.

What most people don't understand about my business travel, is that the two days I spent here before today were hell. 14 hour long work days - manual labor work days setting up an event. The pay involved and the time spent away from my family was a big factor involved with me taking a new position.

When I began my new job this week (and the 2 weeks leading up to it), I was really worried about whether or not I make the right decision. Just about the only thing keeping me going through Friday and Saturday was the fact that this was my last event. Thank god.

Hawaii

Tomorrow I am getting on a plane and heading to Hawaii for 4 days. It isn't a family vacation, it is for work. The work that I recently quit. Technically, I am not employed there anymore. This trip is my last hurrah and I don't want to go. To Hawaii.

You heard me.

With my old job, I had to travel about 5-6 times (or more) a year. When I meet people and I tell them what I do. Errrr. DID. They usually think it sounds pretty cool. And for the most part it is. Or was. But traveling is one of the reasons I now have a different job.

90% of my trips were by myself. Do you know how much fun it is to travel by your self? It isn't always Hawaii, people. Sometimes I got to travel to beautiful Terre Haute, Indiana - the armpit of the world. Or bitchin' Little Rock, Arkansas. I have gotten lost in downtown Arkansas sooooooo many times....

When I got the traveling job, I was really excited to get that kind of opportunity. And I have seen a few cool things (Hawaii, Golden Gate Bridge, etc) and I have learned a lot (always get full coverage insurance and the GPS when you rent a car). But I am not as adventurous as I thought. Which is kind of disappointing.

I thought I would be the type to plan little side trips when I traveled. I'm sure places like Terre Haute have a lot to offer, but I never took the time to find it. Usually this was because I just didn't have the money or the time to go gallivanting around, but I am sure there were some things I could have done cheaply if I tried.

The fact is, I was always really nervous to be by myself in a strange city. And it gets really tedious when you are meeting people all day long and you have to be 'on your game' then getting off work just to try to navigate a strange city at night. Totally out of my comfort zone. And that's OK. It just surprises me because I have always thought that I am pretty brave in an "I am woman, hear me roar" kind of way.

It is always startling to find that you aren't quite the person you think you are or that you make yourself out to be.

Still, tomorrow at about 5 pm island time, I am going to be in Waikiki and that's pretty cool.

Hello there....

I've been bad. I know. I haven't posted.

I'll be honest - I haven't been too busy. I've had the time. I just wasn't sure what to do because I didn't want to lie and I didn't want to post for post's sake.

Things in my life have changed dramatically: I have a new job (yay!) but that means that I had to leave my old job (boo!). I had some medical stuff happen (boo!). And they told me that it was all OK (yay!). But it wasn't (boo!). Hopefully now it is now (yay!). We got a new car (yay!). But it turned out to be a lemon and we are in the process of trying to give it back (boo!). We are going to end up getting a better car (yay!). But it is going to cost A LOT more than the lemon (boo!).

Can you believe that this ALL happened during the month of April? Yeah. It did. It was overwhelming and I didn't know if and when I should write about it. If it was appropriate or not (job stuff) or if it would sound like I am whining (medical and car stuff). I considered writing about other things but I have been CONSUMED by all these things and I couldn't focus enough to come up with anything else.

So, here is the deal. I started this dang thing to write for me and what is happening in my life - jobs, cars, vaginas, kids, dogs, whatevs. I think that is what I am going to do from now on.